Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born ? -- Benny Hill
"To waken interest and kindle enthusiasm is the sure way to teach easily and successfully"(Tyron Edwards)
If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner
"Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them."
--Albert Einstein
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that
even a bargain costs money. -- Edgar Watson Howe
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. -- Henry Youngman
We spend the first twelve months of our children's liv! es teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. -- Phyllis Diller
"If you want happiness for a lifetime, help someone else." (Chinese Proverb)
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life." (Chinese Proverb)
Start every day with a smile and get it over with. -- W.C. Fields
"A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary" (Thomas Carruthers)
Why is it that the teaching is the last thing I have time for?" (Judy Domeny Bowen)
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? -Jean Cocturan
"Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave." (Henry Peter Broughan)
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. -- Erno Philips
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -- Wendell Johnson
"I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers." (Kahlil Gibran)
"Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the community to which your later work belongs." (Einstein)
Laughter is the closest distance between two people. -- Victor Borge
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted awhole day. - Mickey Rooney
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. -Albert Einstein
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. -- Joey Adams
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... - Sir Norman Wisdom
"Everyone has a talent, what is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads." (Erica Jong)
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison. -- Tim Allen
"Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love" (Hamilton Wright Mabi)
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined" (Henry David Thoreau)
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon)
A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie! -- Eric Bolton
"He who dares to teach must never cease to learn" (Anonymous)
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones
"Successful teachers are effective in spite of the psychological theories they suffer under." (Educational Proverb)
"I am almost overwhelmed by the courage and dedication of teachers" (Sylvia Solomon)
"A gifted teacher is as rare as a gifted doctor, and makes far less money" Anonymous)
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. -- Erica Jong
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! -- Doug Larson
" It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question" (Eugene Ionesco Decouvertes)
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. -- Will Rogers
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg
The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Nietzsche)
"To teach well, we need not say all that we know, only what is useful for the pupil to hear" (Anon.)
"When teaching, light a fire, don't fill a bucket." (Dan Snow)
"I not only use all the brains I have but all that I can borrow." (W. Wilson)
"Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you'll never cease to grow" (Anthony J. D'Angelo)
I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. -- Robert Paul
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. -- Woody Allen
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones
"Successful teachers are effective in spite of the psychological theories they suffer under." (Educational Proverb)
"I am almost overwhelmed by the courage and dedication of teachers" (Sylvia Solomon)
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